Conner almost always come home from school with rocks in his pockets. His teachers have actually started getting on to him about this. Haha. He always tell them, “I have to get some for my mommy. ” Why he feels the need to bring me rocks every day..I don’t know..but I think it’s sweet. I could probably fill up a giant pickle jar with the little rocks he has brought me if I kept them all. I asked him one day why he chose the certain rocks that he did and he said, “I just did.” Sometimes he says they are shiny or cool…and sometimes they are ugly and dirty…but he presents them in a way as if they are so beautiful. Like I am going to be so enthralled at the beauty of these rocks. Besides the fact that they are from Conner--there is nothing particularly special about them. But Conner thinks so.
I found myself the other day asking God what He could be showing me through Conner giving me these rocks every day. Its pretty neat how God can speak to us through simple things as this. My answer was this: You are beautiful. I chose you. My grace is sufficient.
I have been reading a book called Made To Crave and its about satisfying our cravings with God instead of other things. So far it’s a pretty good book and ventures through other things that people use like drugs, food, and other addictions. I’ve struggled with the way I view myself--in probably every way--spiritually, physically, etc. Letting myself believe that I’m not good enough..I don’t do enough of something..yada yada…letting others steal the joys of my talents and passions. Making myself believe things that are not true. Lets just say --Satan knows exactly what to do to get me down. But in reading the book this passage has stuck out to me the most--
“I’ve found my beautiful. And I like my beautiful. I don’t have to hold my beautiful up to others with a critical eye of judgment. Like Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.”
God chose me. He loves me. I wasn’t a perfect and smooth rock when he found me--I was broken and cracked..yet he still thought I was beautiful.
Today at church there was a man that was baptized. He did not go to our church--he was trying to catch a bus across the street and the station happened to be closed. So, he decided to come in and attend the service. Through the service he accepted Christ and got Baptized---forget the bus ride-he found Jesus! :) He wants that man to find his beautiful and experience Love too. He wants us to find our beautiful. He wants me to stop and look at my “beautiful” and embrace it instead of trying to find it in other things. He even tries to show me through simple things like Conner bringing me rocks. So now, every time Conner brings me rocks from play time or when I hear the clanging in the dryer from escaped rocks out of his pockets.. I am reminded..
You are beautiful. I chose you. My grace is sufficient.
I’ll stop babbling now. :))
Be brave
Amanda
